Father's Day

Just a quick post. I left after getting home from Father's Day dinner to see Man of Steel. Excellent movie, I highly recommend it.

I have been feeling so lonely lately. I know this is quite ridiculous, seeing as I am married to a wonderful man and have three lovely kids. It seems to boggle the mind. But really I've been feeling like I can't give and get enough hugs lately.

Yesterday and today I napped with Doug. I never, ever nap with my kids. I've always had a strict, "you-must-nap-in-your-crib" rule. I can't even remember why I napped with him yesterday, but today I did it because he was so upset. Jeremy and Bekah were headed out to swim in our pool. He saw what was happening and when Brian prevented him from joining them, started to throw a fit.

He has been working with a great speech therapist and we are going to work toward getting him an OT evaluation. He is displaying some of the same behaviors as his big brother. It's tough for him, I think, because he doesn't have very many words. Honestly, very few words. He gets frustrated and bites and hits me. He's also started hitting his brother and sister. (I can honestly forgive the latter because they can be pretty awful to him.)

So when I saw how frustrated he was not being able to join his brother and sister, I carried him upstairs. Mind you, he was kicking and screaming and completely unhappy.

Then we crawled into bed together. He wasn't happy that I didn't allow him to roam free on the bed or in my room. But he quickly realized mommy is a bit stronger and then just started settling down. I never see him fall asleep, so I have never witnessed what happens. It's the cutest thing. He plays with my hair, his hair, points at the fan and babbles to his hands.

Lying next to him, I felt less lonely. I felt connected to someone in an emotional way. I woke up a couple of hours later, before him, feeling overheated. He is quite the little furnace. I now understand why he sleeps without blankets and will never again worry that he is not warm enough at night.

It is blissful to nap with a little person. I remember when the kids were babies and fell asleep on me. There is literally nothing more peaceful than having a tiny human's weight on your chest. There's no better feeling in the world. Sleeping next to Doug had the same effect. I woke up feeling refreshed physically and emotionally.

I can't say I will nap with him every day, but this was pretty good therapy for me. The cheapest I've had in a long time.