I don't have a lot to say today, honestly. It has been a long few days. I've been staying up obscenely late playing a stupid computer game. My days have been starting obscenely early because the kids have been crawling into bed with us late at night. I've been burning the candle from both ends.
Even more, I've been ramping up the amount of cardio I'm doing. I'm trying hard not to nap everyday. I'm working so hard on everything that I'm just exhausted.
Today in particular I was also grumpy. There was nothing motivating the grumpiness, it was just that kind of day. We spent the morning at Gail Borden Library. I don't know what it is about that place, but I start into a flop sweat as soon as I walk in. I spent all of our time there sweating and making sure I knew where Doug was. That made me sweat more.
We got home and it was just the little stuff that got under my skin. My kids tend to make a request for something, say a beverage, then give me no time to complete the request. It's even worse because there's typically three requests in queue and they're all asking for status reports. On a good day, I give them the company line--"I'm not a magician." Today, I yelled.
Then, the non-stop Mommy show just wouldn't stop. I always wanted to be this popular, but it's actually quite exhausting. I have not been refilling my batteries enough to be able to give as much love as my kids need.
It's funny what the breaking point can be on days like today. It can be something so small. Like, for example, taking out the recycling.
Tuesday nights are rushed, normally. I take my kids to my parents, then meet up with Brian in a church basement. Tonight was different. My parents couldn't take the kids, so I was waiting for Brian to get home. It's garbage day tomorrow so I wanted to get the cans to the curb before he got home. We have a separate recycling can and it tends to fill up quickly. I wanted to fit everything possible into the bag to save myself a trip.
And then the empty chicken container hit the ground. I'm not even sure why it upset me, but I was tired and cranky and didn't want to bend over to pick up one more thing. I did pick it up, though, and the thought that crossed my mind was, "my life sucks."
All there was left to do was laugh at myself. Really, my life sucks? Having to bend over to pick up an empty carton from a chicken qualified my life for suckage? Cause it was so tough to do in my air-conditioned house that has food in the refrigerator, clean drinking water coming out of the spout and a toilet? I'm officially richer than most of the people in the world. "Congratulations, Sue, you're officially the biggest spoiled brat in the house."
So I chuckled to myself and took out the trash. Hey, tomorrow's another day, huh?
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