I'm lovely. Really, a lot of people think so. I have a good sense of humor, I'm kind, compassionate, kind of cute, empathetic and a good listener. I have my bad points but they are far outweighed by my assets. Just saying.
Why, then, am I thrown into a tailspin every time I meet someone new? I forget form normal sentences, second-guess everything that comes out of my mouth and otherwise becoming a floundering nincompoop.
This school year has been tougher than last because either Bekah or Jeremy are in school every morning. In addition, Doug is still napping in the afternoon. That means that the possibility of play dates is slim. I see some of the same moms from last year but have limited opportunities to hang out with them.
The girls from my small group have been great company, but we have also fallen out of the habit of getting together in the evenings. I do what I can to get together with other moms from Mothers & More, but those gatherings are also in the evening.
Daytime has become lonely and it's a little frustrating. I try not to internalize my current scheduling difficulties, but it's an uphill battle during a time of year when darkness falls at 5 PM. It's tough, with these issues, to not start to doubt my awesomeness. I don't mean that in a braggadocious way; I mean, I know I'm good at making friends and maintaining friendships but the lack of access is discouraging.
I have started to research some other options for making connections. I do attend BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), but I can't attend fellowship with the ladies because of the kids. Ultimately, I know this time will pass. Before too long, all the kids will all be in school full-time and I will be able to participate in more things. I will be able to meet up with other moms during the school day and talk and listen to my heart's content.
Hopefully, my awesomeness will not have worn off by then. What am I saying? Like that could ever happen.
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