Accommodations

I don't know what to write about tonight. I have a lot going on in my head. There are tough conversations I have to have with people over the next week. I can't talk about them, which is tough for me. I love to gab and the way I work things out is to talk someone's ear off. 

I think the weight of these future conversations, combined with the stress of correcting bedtime and AWANA, is taxing me a great deal emotionally. Any one of the things would be enough to bend my back. 

Bedtime has become quite a weight. I know Tina Fey (and Jim Gaffigan) talks about the fact that bedtime is a huge challenge. I can't remember which comments on the surprise elicited from announcing bedtime. It's like that here. The very mention of bedtime causes moaning, mumbling, gnashing of teeth and general unhappiness. 

I guarantee you, my kids have been put to bed every night of their life. They are not allowed to sleep where they fall, we don't co-sleep, we don't make them put themselves to bed. 

From an early age, we have been very strict with nap time and bed time. Our experience has been that our kids function better and more happily if they have a regular sleep schedule. It has not always made sense to everyone else, but I learned long ago that we have to make decisions that are best for our family. 

So there's the initial shock of learning that it's bedtime. Then the shock of having to take off their clothes and put on pajamas. Lately, Bekah has been claiming that her pajamas--even ones picked from her drawer--smell like urine. There's an ensuing argument about said smell. It usually ends with me, exasperated, going to retrieve new pajamas. 

Then come the negotiations. I know that TV before bedtime is not conducive to a good night's sleep. The problem is that Brian is in charge of bedtime. He works over an hour away and his commute is brutal. Upon arriving home, he doesn't have the energy to be active with the kids. I have spent all day with them and I have no energy for bed time. 

Typically, they get to pick a show to watch. During the summer, both Jeremy and Rebekah got to pick a show. After that, negotiations kicked into high gear. They would ask if Doug could pick a show. They would ask Brian to read them a book. The negotiations would spill into the hallway while they walked (think the Bataan Death March or the Trail of Tears) to their bedroom. 

And that wasn't even the end. No, it was the beginning of the litter patter of feet as they travelled downstairs, repeatedly, with varying degrees of ridiculous requests. This is after the sound of them "playing shows" spills further and further into the hallway upstairs. The requests and statements range from "I'm not tired" to "my sister's asleep" to "I can't close my eyes." 

On a good night, when Brian and I are in great moods, we handle these requests like a good outfielder. We catch them and throw them back home-to their rooms. 

Finally, they're asleep. Brian and I usually enjoy Conan and then head upstairs for bed. I am very strict about sleeping arrangements. No one touches me when I sleep. There is a pillow I use as a barrier between Brian and me. I am deadly serious about this. In order for me to recharge, I need at least 6-8 hours of sleep. I can't sleep with someone's hand on me, let alone with an elbow in my spleen. 

Just when I think it's okay to fall asleep, the doorway to our bedroom is darkened by a sleepy-eyed monster. Usually the monster is 4 feet tall or so. Usually they have had a bad dream, although it's not unusual for them to "almost have had a nightmare." I do my best to shoo them back to bed. They know, though, that once I'm asleep I'm unable to object. Then the trick is to get into bed without disturbing or crowding me. This typically means they lie on Brian's side of the bed. It's not unusual for me to wake up and find Brian's feet resting on top of Bekah. 

Meanwhile, I don't sleep well. The kids don't sleep well because they're in bed with us. I wake up feeling cranky and out of sorts. They wake up in a frenzy. It's crazy, they wake up energized even when bedtime has stretched past 9. 

And so the pattern repeats. It has all come to a head now that we're back in school. I know now that we should have been correcting the bedtime--moving it up--before school started. We will next year. Meanwhile, we have started using the Supernanny method for getting them to stay in bed. The first time they get out of bed, we tuck them in, say good night. Each time after that, we say nothing and put them back in bed.

Last night was the first night doing it and it took quite a long time. Tonight, Brian said Jeremy was asleep in 15 minutes and it took Bekah 1 hour and 15 minutes. Seriously!! Just close your eyes and be done with it!!

My hope is that they will be in bed sooner tomorrow night. Otherwise, I may take to sleeping in public parks. Whatever it takes to get a good night's sleep. I won't be able to function without it!!