One of my favorite episodes is called The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification. Sheldon, after performing a series of equations, realizes he will not live long enough to merge his consciousness with a robot. In order to bridge the gap, he institutes various health measures designed to keep him alive longer.
Hilarity ensues, obviously. My favorite attempt of his is running. I was thinking about this as I was running tonight. Sheldon decides to run with Penny. They meet in the hallway before their run. Penny is wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Sheldon, on the other hand, has an iPod and other gadgets.
They have a short exchange about what equipment Penny uses to measure her run. She quips that she uses none--she runs until she gets tired, eats a bear claw and runs back. Sheldon is aghast. Then more hilarity as Penny tries, to no avail, to get Sheldon to stretch with her.
This exchange makes me laugh for several reasons. It also highlights why I enjoy running so much. I am fortunate enough to have an iPhone. It is indispensable to me on my runs.
But it wasn't always that way!! I was fortunate, after a few years on my own, to be able to afford a membership to the Buffalo Grove Fitness Center. It was affiliated with Northwest Community Hospital, not intimidating and not full of lunks. I started out running on a treadmill. I did intervals on a treadmill and trained for my first 5K on a treadmill. (It was on the campus of Northwestern and I smoked a cigarette not long after I was done.
After I got proficient with the treadmill, I started bringing my portable CD player to the gym! I also branched out and ran on the inside track. That's where I trained for my first half marathon. Yes, I trained for a 13.1 mile race inside on a track. What's worse, the race was set in Highland Park--a town built on a ravine.
You'll be happy to know that for my first marathon, I trained outside. I listened mostly to the Snatch soundtrack. I didn't train with a group so I was responsible for mapping out my own runs. I would literally drive my green Hyundai hatchback around Buffalo Grove, marking the miles in my head. I would stash water for myself and keep an eye out for public restrooms. I am especially grateful for the Starbucks on the corner of Lake Cook and McHenry. I dashed in there on multiple occasions and am glad there was never a line.
While training for the Flying Pig Marathon, I discovered a bike trail in Crystal Lake. It had convenient mile markers (no more driving around to find routes). I had an iPod, so I had more variety in music. I am one who's pretty comfortable listening to the same songs over and over again, but it was so refreshing to make different playlists.
I also had performance wear!! I had clothes that wicked the moisture. No more running in cotton shorts and a t-shirt! I had running shoes! I had a water belt! I felt like I had finally arrived. I still wasn't training with a group, but in every other respect I actually felt like a runner.
Fast forward six years. I have finally gotten back into a good groove with running. I have run three times a week for the past three weeks. I am following a program on my iPhone that prompts me when to run and walk.
Unfortunately, my active wear doesn't fit right now. Nor does my water belt. I don't have headphones that work well. Consequently, everyone passing by gets to hear my playlist. It has a little of everything, from La Roux to Belle and Sebastian, Feist, Black Eyed Peas and Jem. I know how far I've gone but I sweat into my cotton socks and my gym shorts are all starting to fall apart.
The beautiful thing is that I still, for brief moments, feel like Phidippides. I stretch my legs out more, hold my arms correctly and really, really haul ass. I also love that I can take pride in my version of hauling ass. I know it's not the fastest version out there but it's faster than it was last year. My iPhone told me so.
So really, that scene with Sheldon and Penny perfectly encapsulates my own running history. It's a little bit funnier when Jim Parsons does it but I assure you, I don't end up falling down the stairs.
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