Sunday, February 1, 2015

On Bekah's 6th Birthday

I have been a mom for 7 1/2 years. It has been messy, fun, heart-breaking, silly and rewarding. After Jeremy, I was pretty sure I only wanted to have boys. My paternal grandma had 5 and though my dad and his uncles were no walk in the park, I thought overall boys would be easier. 

As an aside, kids are hard, period. There is not a gender that is easier. There are ages that are not as complicated and there are aspects of both genders that can be difficult to manage. 

I found out that I was pregnant with Bekah just months before Brian found out about his cancer, before Jeremy had his surgery, before the bottom fell out of the economy. We had planned for her, but these curve balls made it all seem overwhelming. 

She decided (really God, but given Bekah's personality it seems like she had a say in it) to enter the world early. She came an hour after the Super Bowl ended (the Steelers won that year) and way before I was ready. 

So much didn't go the way I expected with her. The labor was very different. She didn't take to nursing in the same way Jeremy did. The things that worked to soothe Jeremy didn work on Bekah. Within weeks of Bekah's birth, I was caring both for a newborn and for my husband, who was recovering from kidney surgery. 

What I've learned from Bekah is that things can be beautiful even if they are not what you planned. From the beginning, she has been my shadow. She has always been my girl. 

One of my most enduring memories of Bekah happened when she was just a few weeks old. A friend had come over to deliver dinner. She offered to hold Bekah so that I could eat in peace. She walked around with Bekah in her arms. Every time she walked in front of where I was sitting, Bekah's eyes would follow me until I was out of her sight. Bekah was exhausted--she was one to fight sleep. When I finished, my friend handed her over. No sooner was Bekah in my arms than she was asleep. 

The only person who loves Bekah more than Brian and I is Jeremy. For Jeremy, she is his whole universe. This past week, when Bekah was in the hospital, he was a lost puppy without her. He was worried all day Monday and kept asking his 1-on-1 aide about her. Then he got sick and she couldn't sleep by herself in her room. She kept ending up in our bed with him, regularly reporting to me if he got sick. 

The big surprise was Doug, though. He sometimes seems like he isn't aware of what's going on. After Bekah got home, he climbed on top of her and gave her kiss after kiss after kiss. 

She makes friends wherever she goes. She is kind, loving and smart. She is also feisty, can throw an epic tantrum and is infuriating sometimes. I don't pretend that she is perfect or without faults. I don't pretend that being her mom isn't equal parts exhilerating and infuriating. 

The thing is, she is a doll. She loves to perform but is shy in front of strangers. She smiles big, with her whole body, but she screams like a banshee when she is upset. She is silly but observant--"Mommy, Skye likes Captain Turbot's brother but he's a human and she's a dog. That's so silly."

We call her the recorder of deeds. If you have made a promise to her, she will never forget. If you have done something wrong, the memory won't fade. She is absolutely amazing at calming her brother down. She loves animals and all things girly, but she also doesn't mind digging in the dirt. 

In short, she perfectly embodies the words Brian uttered when he first met her-"she's gorgeous."

Bekah, I am so happy you've been with us for 6 years. Our lives are so much richer with you here. Thank you for your silliness, for your strength of spirit and for the love you show to so many. I hope you continue to grow and become the woman I know you can be. 

To the rest of you, look out. Bekah is on her way. 

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