Sue and -ish, A Love Story

Last night I couldn't come up with anything to write. Of course tonight, when I am dying to write something, I can't get to the computer fast enough. Go figure.

I've been talking in broad terms about this new protocol I'm following. I haven't been wanting to label it because it's going well and I don't want anyone to rain on my parade. I don't even really think it has a specific name, but if I were forced to give it a name, I would call it Paleo-ish.

I'm very fond of the -ish because I feel like it's the English language's way of shrugging it's shoulders and throwing up it's hands. It's the equivalent of wiggling your hand back and forth with your palm parallel to the floor.

I'm a very all-or-nothing kind of person, so I tend to struggle with most eating plans. I've never done well giving up food groups or food types. Ultimately, I find myself covered in Ding Dong wrappers with a massive headache.

I like food. I like food that has flavor. I don't want to eat exactly the same thing every day.

My problem with counting calories is I also want to count my exercise and then eat my exercise. As so many trainers and doctors say, it's all about expending more calories than you're eating. Which is true, but has never really translated to a decent amount of weight loss for me. I think there are people for whom it works well, and I am glad for them. It just turns into this game I play about how much I can or can't eat at any given meal. I spend a lot of time angry and hating MyFitnessPal, and really, what did the app ever do to me?

Meanwhile, I've been taught in church basements that goes like this, "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation."

I have been guilty of that in several instances. It has usually not worked out well for me. I have learned that it is best for me to keep an open mind. That's not to say that when people make suggestions I don't internally roll my eyes, but I need to be willing to listen and give people the benefit of the doubt.

So a couple of weeks ago, when my friend Kristin reached out to me and asked if I was willing to follow her suggestions, I said yes. I didn't even know what I was agreeing to, but I had an open mind. I decided that my best thinking has gotten me here. Why don't I, one more time, listen to someone who has more wisdom than I?

As she laid out her suggested plan, I was both excited and skeptical. It seemed sound. I had heard a lot of evidence (before talking to Kristin) that seemed to match what Kristin was saying. I have been trying for years to back away from processed foods and try to eat foods in their natural state.

The skepticism came as she laid out for me *when* and *how* she wanted me to eat.

She suggested that I skip breakfast. The breakfast I had been eating (yogurt and homemade granola) was full of a lot of sugar. She suggested instead that I dine in on my own fat reserves. (Insert eye roll here.)

For lunch, a salad with some protein and lots of veggies. Skip the fruit (except for apples on occasion). This tracked with what the diabetic counselor had told Brian--even the natural sugar will spike blood sugar. Even though I have not been formally diagnosed with Type II diabetes, I'm right on the border, so I'd been following Brian's suggested plan, modified for a woman. (This just means I get fewer carbs at meals.)

For dinner, lean protein, veggies, a sweet potato or couscous.

So it's Paleo-ish. Not really Paleo because they say no dairy. I do a small amount of dairy, but not a lot. The list of things on my protocol is slightly more generous than the list of foods that are Paleo-approved, hence the ish.

I will tell you, for years I have railed (mostly silently) against Paleo. In my mind, for whatever reason, I equated it with Atkins. I didn't think you could have a sustainable eating plan where so many things were not included.

So here's the other component. Emotions. Because let's face it, I am a person with a lot of emotions and I tend to eat when any of those emotions run over. So when I get hangry or down or whatever, I have to stop and write about it. There is a whole model. Kristin's coach, Brooke Castillo, has a book. It's good. I am going to be reading it. But in any case, I am not using food to buffer my emotions. If I am feeling sad, I need to sit with that feeling. If I'm pissed off because I've had a fight with Brian, the solution to the feeling is not food.

For me, the solution is God. And here's where this dovetails nicely with Lysa Terkeurst's book that I mentioned the other day. God wants to be our solution. He wants us to come to him with everything. He promises us that anything we seek to be higher than him, we will find lacking.

As someone who has spent years putting other things above God, I can tell you that's true.

So then the last piece. Once dinner is over, the kitchen is closed. No nighttime snack. I will tell you, I have been finding myself having a single serving of dark chocolate on some evenings. I am not sure yet how I feel about that and how it fits into what I'm trying to do. I will report more on that as it unfolds. But the big thing for me is, once dinner is done, I'm done until lunch the next day.

Here again, I've been having a mid-morning cup of coffee with a very, very small amount of cream in it. I might find in a few weeks that it's no longer serving me. I don't know. For now, it helps a bit.

I weigh in on Friday morning, but as of last Friday, after only 5 days of following Kristin's suggestions, I lost 7 pounds.

Bigger than that, though, is I do not feel like I'm starving. I don't feel deprived. I start eating when my hunger is -2 and I stop when I am at +2. (-10 is I'm ready to start eating my own foot, +10 is I'm so full I'm going to puke.) I feel like I am still learning this scale. I am not used to eating when I start to feel full. It's tricky. It's made me slow down when I eat. I drink a LOT of water. I have a 32 ounce water bottle from Contigo and I drink at least 48 ounces of water during dinner. (Same for lunch.) I drink a lot of water between meals. A lot. No, like a whole bunch.

What's most tremendous for me is that I do not, not one little bit, feel like I'm depriving myself. I don't feel like I'm pining after things. I have started thinking about a piece or two of pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, but I have time to work through that.

Have I followed my own protocol 100%? Nope. Right now, I have peace about that. I don't feel like this plan is stringent. I don't want to beat myself up for not walking as much as I wanted to in a given day. I want peace. I want peace about food in the worst way, and I can tell you that this plan, so far, is giving me lots of peace.

I've been trying to figure out how to modify recipes to be more Paleo while also not trying to insist that everyone in the house eat like me. What follows is a modification of a recipe I found Googling "ground beef paleo recipes." It was for beef stroganoff, but it called for cubed meat, which I didn't have, and suggested using a cast iron skillet, which I have but can't figure out how to use.

This is the recipe, it's still beef stroganoff, just with ground beef and turkey. I should have taken pictures of it before we ate, but I didn't have the presence of mind.

Ingredients:
1 lb. lean ground beef (I use Costco's grass fed/organic beef)
1 lb. ground turkey (also Costco)
8 oz. mushrooms, sliced
4-5 garlic cloves, minced
1 small onion, chopped
1/4 c. dry white wine
1 c. coconut milk
1 c. beef broth
2-4 tbsp. light sour cream

Directions:
1. Heat a skillet, toss some butter in the skillet (I can't remember how much I used, maybe 2-3 tablespoons). Throw in the mushrooms, let them cook until they start to shrink (not scientific or precise, forgive me, this is the first time I've ever written a recipe. Remove the mushrooms, set aside.
2. Pour some olive oil (just a dollop will do ya) into the skillet. Add the garlic and onion. Cook until the onion is translucent.
3. Add the white wine and let the alcohol cook off.
4. Add the ground beef and turkey. Sprinkle with a fair amount of salt and freshly ground pepper (also Costco). Drain any fat you can.
5. Once the meat is browned evenly, add the coconut milk, beef broth and (if you want) the sour cream. Let it come to a boil, then simmer for about 10 minutes.

I ate this with a sweet potato--I prepared egg noodles for Brian. It's up to you. I know they probably make a Paleo-acceptable egg noodle, but I was happy with just the meat and sweet potato. I finished up my salad from lunch and Brian had some veggies from the veggie platter (also Costco).

From start to finish, the meal took me about 30ish minutes to prepare. It had a great flavor to it and Brian and I enjoyed it--Brooklyn, too, though Bekah was offended that there were mushrooms and the boys don't like their food to be so mixed up.

So there you have it! My first ever (mostly) made-up recipe! I was getting really tired of burgers, tacos and meatloaf, I'm not going to lie. I bought some beans today and am going to bust out the Crock Pot for some chili on Sunday or Monday.

I may be hating all of this in six months, but I'm not going to worry about that. For now, I'm going to get some sleep and be ready to get back at it tomorrow.