It is so cold today. Since losing some weight, I am cold a LOT. Fall is definitely here and it's probably my favorite season, but good lord, I'm freezing.
Brian is in Kenosha and Brooklyn is sleeping, so I am taking advantage of having his computer available to write a little earlier in the day than I normally would.
I listened to/watched a fascinating webinar by Bob Heilig on Saturday. He had a lot of good things to say. The one idea he discussed was about fear.
Fear and I are well-acquainted. It's been a long-term friendship, albeit a toxic one that has stunted my growth in some ways.
Bob talked about rational fear and irrational fear. Rational fear is what happens when you're in an airplane and someone is trying to push you out without a parachute. Your brain is telling you, rightly so, that you are going to die.
Irrational fear is fear that tells you you're going to die when faced with a situation that isn't life-threatening.
For example, whenever I sit down to write a blog post, my brain starts telling me, "no one wants to read what you have to say! No one is interested! Didn't you see the stats from yesterday? People aren't interested."
It can be a very palpable thing, something I absolutely feel in my chest and the pit of my stomach.
I have a choice, though, about how I'm going to handle the fear.
My first choice is to let it rule my life. I can hire it as my life's manager and allow it to make all of my decisions. Any time I'm at a crossroads, I can consult with my fear and see how it feels I should proceed. The outcome from living this way will not be good. It can rob me of rich life experiences, it can rob me of joy and it can cut me off from God.
The other choice, then, is to let faith rule my life. Faith is the opposite of fear. Having faith doesn't mean I'm an automaton. It means, quite simply, that I'm not going to let fear make my decisions. Rather, I'm going to invite God into my decision-making process. I'm going to consult with women and men who are wiser than I, who have walked my path (or a similar path) before. I'm going to ask them how they feel about the choices in front of me.
A life that is lived with faith making the decisions is a rich one. It is not always easy. It doesn't mean that I won't be rejected, that people won't choose to leave me, or that every day will be sunshine and rainbows. In my mind, this life has more peace in it because I am not fighting against God. I am trying, on a daily basis, to be a better version of myself.
Bob also talked about walking toward your fears, especially as they relate to your gifts. I firmly believe that God has given me a talent with my writing. It's a gift. I'm not bragging or being egotistical. I enjoy writing, I feel I excel at it and what I say can resonate with people.
It's really no surprise, then, that fear would attack me as I'm sitting down to write something. So Bob says I have to walk toward the fear. Sometimes, this is easier said than done.
Case in point, I had the opportunity to hang out with some women last night. I am an extrovert by nature, so normally this would have been a no-brainer. However, I didn't know these particular women very well. I love to meet new people, but I can get in my head about things in no time flat. So I made the decision to go, but I was very apprehensive. I figured if worse came to worse, I could feign an emergency with the kids and bail. Not the best solution, but it's where I was at.
When I arrived at my friend's house, I tried to settle in. I didn't feel like I immediately fit well into any of the conversations. I had brought my dinner with me, so I sat quietly and ate as everyone else arrived. One of the women was going to lead a meditation. I didn't know what to expect about that, either, but I've been trying hard to incorporate meditation into my daily routine.
By the end of my time there, I not only felt more comfortable but am even more excited to get to hang with these women again in a couple of weeks! That's not to say I'm best friends with anyone there, but it also means that the right decision was to step out of my comfort zone.
When those things happen, when I step out of my comfort zone and am rewarded (even if it's just a small reward), it makes me more willing to step out of my comfort zone again. There is a quote by Roy T. Bennett that says, "you never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone."
I can tell you, the radical changes I've made in the way I eat and in what I eat have not always been comfortable. I have been stepping out of my comfort zone in my business life. This is not comfortable. I would much rather just play mindless games on my phone. I would rather just eat the things I've always eaten and done the things I've always done.
The problem is that staying in the comfort means I'm staying in a place that isn't serving me. When I eat all the things and play games obsessively, I end up weighing close to 300 pounds, with Type II Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a bevy of other health issues.
The place I'm at now, where I'm headed toward a healthier weight and lifestyle, where I'm trying to grow my business and help more people, is serving me very well. I am off of several prescriptions, I sleep well, my clothes fit me better, I have more energy, I am much better company than I once was.
If the admission to that place, the one I'm currently occupying, is to walk through fear, then sign me up. I might still be timid and I might not gallop blindly into it, but I am ready to go. I am tired of living a small life, one with more problems than solutions. I don't expect sunshine and rainbows every day but only because that's just not realistic. Rainbows only happen after it rains. Instead of complaining about that, I'll just start carrying an umbrella.
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