Blah, blah, blah

I love my husband. We have been together for almost 11 years. I was immediately attracted to him because of his sense of humor. All these years later, he still cracks me up.

But we have an ongoing joke about a mode of his which I call "lecture Brian." It seems like he is still the same, mild-mannered husband, but there are distinct differences.

First, his tone of voice changes. He has a deeper tone to his voice. He used to work at home and one of my concerns was that he would wake Jeremy up because of his booming voice (he never did).

When he is "normal Brian," his voice is not as deep or booming. Ask him a question about politics, government or other weighty issues and his voice drops an octave.

Second, he crosses his arms and assumes a more authoritative stance. His hand gestures change. He straightens up a bit. There is a marked change in his physical demeanor. I am not sure if anyone else realizes it, but as soon as I hear a politically-tinged question, I steal a glance at him to witness the transformation.

Lastly, he inserts superfluous phrases into the conversation. His favorite is "to a certain extent." I know I'm in for a really long conversation when he breaks that one out.

Don't get me wrong, he is an excellent source of information. He was a political science major and has a really good handle on how things work. He is also well-read. He is constantly reading articles to deepen his understanding of the world.

My dad has been giving us a subscription to National Geographic for a few years. I love it because I can't read novels anymore. The most time I have to myself is in the washroom, but even then the most I am allowed to digest are articles.

Brian shares my affinity for the magazine and we have some great discussions about things featured in the magazine. The problem is, Brian doesn't have a filter.

If I have a question that I believe should require a short answer, I don't ask Brian. If I am looking for his input on something important, I ask him over the phone. That allows me to get other work done while listening with one ear to what he has to say.

Really, I don't have time for a 5-10 minute-long explanation to all of my questions. I am bombarded all day by inane questions; I do my best to answer them, but it's overwhelming. I do a lot of deflecting-"ask your dad," or "I don't know."

Brian must not get a lot of questions throughout the day because he treats every question with the utmost respect and dignity. It's like he's the Title IX of questions; he wants to make it fair for everyone.

I have started avoiding asking him questions. I just don't have a desire to know all of the things he feels he needs to share with me. I'm especially guilty of asking him a question, getting distracted by the kids or something else and then not listening to a word he's saying.

It would seem like this might discourage "lecture Brian" from appearing, but apparently the only thing Brian loves more than his family is the sound of his own voice. I'm not sure if he'll find this insight as funny as I do, but I'm sure as hell not going to ask!!